The Intend to Relate Podcast | Season One, Episode Ten
Start with the Light
A Simple Practice. A Real Relationship.
You do not need a polished speech. You can begin with an honest willingness to show up.
Start with the Light offers a simple seven-step practice for beginning to relate: get alone, notice the warmth of sunlight, become still, speak honestly, and listen without forcing an answer.
For us, this is an invitation to begin a relationship with a loving God. It starts not with an argument or the right religious vocabulary, but with something you are actually experiencing:
The light is real. The warmth is real. You are not creating that sunlight. You are being warmed. That is a beginning.
Key Ideas
An openly stated belief, not a demand to adopt it
Intend to Relate is intended for a secular audience. We also believe in a loving relational God. We are being open about that perspective, not asking you to adopt it.
You do not have to share our beliefs to understand the invitation. This practice is not for everybody, and you are free to leave it alone.
Begin before every question has been answered
Consider the future self agreement. You may not know your future self, but you can care about that person, address them, and make choices today with their well-being in mind. You do not have to meet them before beginning to act with love toward them.
The episode offers a similar openness toward a higher power. The comparison does not prove that God exists. It offers a way to begin before every question has been answered:
I do not fully know you, but I am willing to try relating to you.
The Seven-Step Practice
1. Get alone
Go outside into comfortable sunlight, near running or moving water if possible. The place does not have to be perfect. Water is part of the setting, not an admission requirement.
Put away the phone. No music. Nobody to perform for. You do not need to prepare an impressive spiritual moment. Just show up.
2. Eyes down
Do not look directly at the sun. Look toward the ground or your hands, and notice the light on your skin.
You are not searching the sky for an image of God. You are noticing what is reaching you. You do not need to see the source to feel the effect.
3. Feel the warmth
Do not imagine the warmth. Notice it.
I'm not creating this warmth. I am being warmed.
For this moment, you do not have to be the one making everything happen. You do not have to turn the experience into an accomplishment. Receive what is already here.
4. Remember
Remember being cold. Remember being too hot. Remember what burning feels like. Then return to this moment.
When you are comfortably warm, notice the difference between what you remember and what is happening now. This is not an exercise in enduring discomfort. You have known cold and too much heat. Right now, you are here, being warmed.
5. Be still
The instruction is direct:
Shut the fuck up, said with affection.
Stop narrating the moment. Stop trying to turn it into an impressive conclusion. Be still. Feel the warmth. Let it sink in.
6. Talk
This is the turn from noticing toward trying to relate. Start talking with the presumption that the one you are thanking for this warmth can actually hear you.
For us, that is an address to the loving God we believe in, not worship of the sun.
Say what is real: "I am here." "I do not know what to say." "Thank you." "This is what I'm carrying."
Or even:
I do not know whether anyone is listening, but I am willing to speak.
You can ask, "What am I not seeing?" or "How might I love better?"
No performance. No borrowed holy voice. Your own words will do.
7. Listen
You do not need to hear a voice or have a remarkable experience. You may notice the water, your breathing, a feeling, a thought, or nothing unusual.
Do not force a reply. Do not treat every thought as a divine instruction. You do not have to fill in both sides of the conversation.
Be quiet. No agenda. No performance. Just presence.
Silence is not failure. See what happens without deciding in advance what must happen. You can return another day; you do not have to settle everything in one conversation.
Bring the Practice Back into Life
We began with care for a future self. We tried opening toward a loving higher power. Then we return to the people and relationships around us.
That is where the loves come in: self-respect, boundaries, care for your own well-being, compassion, forgiveness, and concern for the good of another.
The question is not only whether you had a powerful feeling. It is also:
How will I live after this? What could I do with more honesty, gratitude, or care?
An Invitation, Not a Requirement
You get to decide whether this practice has a place in your life. It is not a requirement or a test of whether you are a good person.
For us, it is an invitation to begin a relationship with a loving God. You do not need a polished speech. You can begin with an honest willingness to show up.
Same light. New relationship.
It starts with an intention to relate.
Show Notes & Chapters
Timestamps follow the supplied episode transcript. Chapter titles are editorial navigation.
00:00 An Invitation to the Listener
00:38 A Secular Audience, an Openly Stated Belief
01:03 Beginning Before Every Question Is Answered
01:53 Step 1: Get Alone
02:15 Step 2: Eyes Down
02:30 Step 3: Feel the Warmth
02:46 Step 4: Remember
03:09 Step 5: Be Still
03:23 Step 6: Talk
03:57 Step 7: Listen
04:25 Bring the Practice Back into Life
05:00 An Invitation, Not a Requirement
05:23 Closing the Listener RelationshipFull Transcript
Transcript note: Speaker labels have been removed, and paragraph breaks and timestamped headings added for readability. The supplied automatic transcript wording is preserved; it has not been checked against the recording.
00:00 | An Invitation to the Listener
You're listening to The Intend2Relate Podcast, published by Intend2Relate LLC. Intend2Relate is interested in expanding human freedom and creativity in relationships.
We would like to enter into a non-exclusive podcast listener relationship involving a short-term limited power exchange dynamic, where you consent to considering some ideas as we present them, while retaining your judgment and critical thinking. We do not seek a deed to your mind in this relationship.
We ask for your assent to go on a journey with us into some ideas and tools regarding relationships. If you assent, let's intend to relate.
00:38 | A Secular Audience, an Openly Stated Belief
Like a lot of our work, this is not for everybody, and it is not intended to be. But if you find some value in it, great.
Intend2Relate is intended for a secular audience. We also believe in a loving relational God. We are being open about that perspective, not asking you to adopt it. You do not have to share our beliefs to understand the invitation, and you are free to leave it alone.
01:03 | Beginning Before Every Question Is Answered
We talked about the future self agreement. You may not know your future self. He or she is not here, yet you believe in that person. You can address them, care about them, make choices today with their well-being in mind. You do not have to meet that person before you begin acting with love toward them.
Sometimes it is helpful to approach a higher power with a similar openness, that comparison does not prove that God exists. It offers a way to begin before every question has been answered.
I do not fully know you, but I am willing to try relating to you. And that is where this practice begins, not with an argument, not with the right religious vocabulary, with something you are actually experiencing.
The light is real. The warmth is real. You are not creating that sunlight. You are being warmed. That is a beginning.
Here's the process.
01:53 | Step 1: Get Alone
First, get alone. Go outside into comfortable sunlight, near running or moving water if possible. It does not have to be a perfect place. Water is part of the setting, not an admission requirement.
Put away the phone, no music, nobody to perform for. You do not need to prepare an impressive spiritual moment, just you showing up.
02:15 | Step 2: Eyes Down
Second, eyes down. Do not look directly at the sun. Look toward the ground or your hands. Notice the light on your skin.
You are not searching the sky for an image of God. You are noticing what is reaching you. You do not need to see the source to feel the effect.
02:30 | Step 3: Feel the Warmth
Third, feel the warmth. Do not imagine it. Notice it.
I'm not creating this warmth. I am being warmed.
For this moment, you do not have to be the one making everything happen. You do not have to turn the experience into an accomplishment. Receive what is already here.
02:46 | Step 4: Remember
Fourth, remember. Remember being cold. Remember being too hot. Remember what burning feels like. Then return to this moment.
When you are comfortably warm, notice the difference between what you remember and what is happening now.
This is not an exercise in enduring discomfort. You have known cold. You have known too much heat. Right now, you are here, being warmed.
03:09 | Step 5: Be Still
Fifth, be still. The instruction on the page is rather direct. Shut the fuck up, said with affection.
Stop narrating the moment. Stop trying to turn it into an impressive conclusion. Be still. Feel the warmth. Let it sink in.
03:23 | Step 6: Talk
Sixth, talk. This is the turn from noticing toward trying to relate. Start talking with the presumption that the one you are thanking for this warmth can actually hear you.
For us, that is an address to the loving God we believe in, not worship of the sun.
Say what is real. I am here. I do not know what to say. Thank you. This is what I'm carrying. Or even, I do not know whether anyone is listening, but I am willing to speak.
You can ask a question. What am I not seeing? How might I love better?
No performance, no borrowed holy voice. Your own words will do.
03:57 | Step 7: Listen
Seventh, listen. You do not need to hear a voice or have a remarkable experience. You may notice the water, your breathing, a feeling, a thought or nothing unusual.
Do not force a reply. Do not treat every thought as a divine instruction. You do not have to fill in both sides of the conversation.
Be quiet. No agenda, no performance, just presence. Silence is not failure. See what happens without deciding in advance what must happen.
You can return another day.
04:25 | Bring the Practice Back into Life
You do not have to settle everything in one conversation, then bring the practice back into the rest of your life.
We began with care for a future self. We tried opening toward a loving higher power, then we returned to the people and relationships around us.
That is where the loves come in. Self-respect, boundaries, care for your own well-being, compassion, forgiveness, concern for the good of another.
The question is not only whether you had a powerful feeling. It is also, how will I live after this? What could I do with more honesty, gratitude, or care?
05:00 | An Invitation, Not a Requirement
You get to decide whether this practice has a place in your life. It is not a requirement. It is not a test of whether you are a good person.
For us, it is an invitation to begin a relationship with a loving God. You do not need a polished speech. You can begin with an honest willingness to show up.
Same light. New relationship. It starts with an intention to relate.
05:23 | Closing the Listener Relationship
You've been listening to The Intend2Relate Podcast, published by Intend2Relate, LLC. Our short-term podcast listener relationship is now complete.
You retain your judgment, your critical thinking, and your freedom to accept, reject, revise, or carry forward any idea we have explored together. We do not ask you to surrender your mind to us.
We hope only that something here has helped you see yourself, another person, or a relationship with greater clarity and possibility.
Thank you for going on this journey with us. Until next time, be free and be good to each other intentionally.
Related Concepts
The future self agreement; a loving relational God; intention and assent; attention and presence; honest expression; listening without forcing an answer; self-respect and boundaries; compassion, forgiveness, and care.
Join the Conversation
What could you do with more honesty, gratitude, or care after a moment of stillness?
About Intend to Relate
Intend to Relate is interested in expanding human freedom and creativity in relationships. These ideas and tools are offered for consideration while you retain your judgment, critical thinking, and freedom to accept, reject, revise, or carry forward what you find here.
Published by Intend2Relate, LLC.
Be free and be good to each other - intentionally.
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